Have you heard this one?

(Sure, I'm losing my mind... But isn't that why you click in? Bet I don't get hate mail on this column. Noooooooooo... I only get hate mail on the columns that require a well thought-out effort. I haven't written ONE fuckin' column all year, and I have gotten more hate mail in the past two months than I've gotten all last year. And here's the weird part. I've also gotten more hits the past two months than I've had in any previous January and February. So let me get this straight. If I continue to write nothing -- and I'm confident I have the talent to pull that off -- I should be bigger than eBay in about six months.)

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STANDARD DISCLAIMER: This column aims to be funny. If you can read anything else into it, you're on your own.

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