ConstantCommentary® Vol. V, No. 142, December 13, 2001

So Sue Me . . .

by Mike Jasper


Three memorials for mom
(... part two.)

"Tootsie! Goddamit!"

I looked up from the sports page to see what my step-dad was bellowing about. I soon saw. The family fox terrier emerged from my mother's sick room with mom's upper plate in its mouth. The teeth were inverted, so the terrier now looked like a bulldog that had been in an ugly car accident.

I think that was the defining moment during my stint as my dying mother's caregiver.

"Do you know how pissed off mom would be if she knew what was happening?" my brother asked me on the phone.

"Yeah," I said. "But that's the point. She doesn't know."

It gets worse. For two days, we couldn't find her teeth at all. Then one day Kacey, our paid professional caregiver, came out of the room looking ashen.

"Well, I found the teeth. Let's just say they were very well hidden."

My mind immediately flashed to the fourth grade, when Ricky Mendoza -- the sixth grader who kept me abreast of my continuing sexual education -- told me, "And the other thing you should know. Some pussies have teeth. And they'll clamp down on you."

Let's just say Ricky didn't turn out to be the lying-sack-of-shit I thought he was.

After we chased down Tootsie and secured the upper plate, I went to my notebook and continued planning my mom's memorial. The real one. Several people were involved in the logistics. My step-dad secured the free venue at the Shriner's Hall, my sister Kelly handled the invitations, and my friend Rachael lined up a caterer and provided decorations for the event. Leetha and Elizabeth also said they would pitch in, but they were 70-something friends of my parents, and I soon learned their help would be limited.

For the record, when an elderly lady says, "Is there anything I can do to help?" that means she's willing to make a casserole. And when an elderly man says, "Is there anything I can do to help?" that means he's willing to let his wife make a casserole.

Also for the record... if I'm still writing this column in 2023, that means I'll be 70 years old. At that point, somebody should have the decency to shoot me.

I spent three stressful weeks planning the official memorial for my mom, but planning the second unofficial memorial was a snap. Three days after my mom's death, I went to WalMart and bought a sugar bowl that could double as an urn. I used the urn as my ashtray during the next two weeks, and also burned newspaper and other flammable substances in the urn.

"What are you doing?" Kacey asked.

"I'm working on a long-term project."

"Oh-my-god, you're not going to..."

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm going to do. So be a good girl and go look for teeth or something."

Once the sugar bowl was filled with enough ashes for my deviant purposes, I made phone calls to Alan, Michele, Dennis, Adrienne, Eddie and all the other regulars from Jasper O'Farrell's, a pub in Sebastopol.

"I'm coming in Wednesday night. I want you to meet me at eight o'clock at Jasper's at the back patio."

My buddy, Big Billy D., worked as a bartender at Jasper's on Wednesday nights and most other nights at that. For sentimental reasons, I always worked my practical jokes on Billy, even though he could now see them coming from as far off as Texas. That said, he was hopelessly helpless to my affronts.

I arrived at Jasper's at 8 p.m. Everyone showed up on time except for Michele, but that was my fault. I told her to come between eight and eight-thirty. Who knew I would be on time?

At 8:20, I told Billy that I wanted to talk to him outside on the patio in 15 minutes.

"I'll be busy then," he said. "Can we do this in the next five minutes?"

Shit, damn, fuck. Too early. But I had to go along with him or he'd get suspicious.

I went out to the parking lot and grabbed the sugar bowl/urn from my car. The bowl was placed inside a bag that read, "Daniel's Chapel of the Roses" to ensure the look of authencity. I had secured the bag three weeks ago when I picked up my mom's ashes at Daniel's. For two days, I kept the ashes in the trunk of my car, hoping a cop would stop me.

"So... do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Because of the dead body in the trunk?"

Anyway, I grabbed the sack, took it to the back patio of Jasper's and set it on the table as my friends continued to annoy me.

"What's up? What's going on? Why did you call us here?"

"Does anybody need a beer?" I asked. "Maybe I just called you here to buy you a fuckin' beer."

Soon, Billy emerged from the back door and joined us on the patio. The moment had arrived, and even though Michele was late (and I really wanted her to see this) I knew it was the right time to proceed.

"Bill," I started, as I solemnly took the sugar bowl out of the Daniel's Chapel of the Roses sack. "I just got my mother's ashes today and I want you to be the first to hold them."

When Bill reached out to grab my mother's phony urn, I dropped the sugar bowl to the ground. Incredibly, it didn't shatter, but the ashes scattered everywhere. I checked Bill's eyes and saw the stunned deer-in-the-headlights look I had hoped to see. About three seconds later, he caught on.

"You fucker. I'm not buying this."

I only got Bill for a moment or two, but believe me, I live for the fuckin' moment. I laughed my ass off, as did all of the people at the table when they caught on. Well, everyone except Alan.

"You dropped your mother's ashes? That's so wrong."

"They weren't really her ashes. They're fuckin' Marlboro ashes."

"Still, the disrespect is so egregiously untenable," Alan said.

"I'll tell you what's untenable. When I went to get my mom's ashes from Daniel's Chapel of the Roses, before the funeral director put the urn in the bag he asked, 'Paper or plastic?' Now that's untenable."

Alan took a long drag from his cigarette. "You are so going to burn in hell."

Finally, Michele showed up.

"Did I miss anything?"

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STANDARD DISCLAIMER: This column aims to be funny. If you can read anything else into it, you're on your own.


Link(s) Of The Week

Tootsie - I am Fox Terrier!

Disappointed Idealist - Jason takes a chance

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Mike Jasper is a writer and musician living in Austin, Texas. Originally from the San Francisco Bay Area, he has strong ties to Seattle, St. Petersburg, Florida and North Platte, Nebraska. He can be reached at column@mikejasper.com or PO Box 91174, Austin TX, 78709 or 24-hour voice mail at 512-916-3727. Accessible? I think so.
© 2001 by Mike Jasper, All Rights Reserved. ConstantCommentary® is published every Thursday except for holidays, planned and unplanned. All material is the responsibility of the author. Special thanks to those who helped along the way: Jeff Cox, Susan Maxey, Catherine Clay, Cathleen Cole, Valerie Sprague, Ian Wolff, Laura Martin and Karin Stephenson. (You may download this article, print it out for personal use and e-mail it to your friends. But you must never, ever give Kurt Vonnegut the credit.)